Our New Years Day baby was 7 1/2 weeks early and just as healthy
as he could be. He weighed 4 lbs. 8 1/2 ozs. He was 17 inches
long and born at 10:42 p.m. Everything went well. 

For three weeks, Joseph stayed at the hospital growing and getting
even stronger. He just had to show them doctors that he could 
take his bottle without any problems and put on some weight. We visited
every day to tend to our sweet Joseph. We bathed him on bath
day, fed him his bottle feedings, read scripture to him, and held
him. We let Joseph know how much we loved him and gave
him all the encouragement he needed to succeed in what he needed
to do to come home. His brothers and sister stayed at Grandma's
and Grandpa's house while we tended to Joseph. It was a trying
time for us as a family but God gave us the strength to get through.
Finally, on January 22nd, our beautiful Joseph got to come home.
What a glorious day!

It was so wonderful to finally have him home. Our lives were able,
to some extent, to return to normal. The kids were so excited to 
have their baby brother home. They all had something special they
did with or for him: read to him, sing to him and rock him to sleep.
No one could get enough of tending to him. It was fun watching him
 take his baths in the kitchen sink. And they way he would stare
at you when you talked to him. Everything about him grabbed your 
attention and heart. He was just so easy going and happy. How
blessed we were to have been able to love him with all our hearts.

Then, on February 22nd, Joseph had to be put into the hospital. About
a week earlier, he had developed a cough. Nothing major at that time.
He had a doctor's appointment two days after he started coughing so
we mentioned it to his doctor. He listened to him and said it wasn't 
anything to worry about but just to watch it. Two days later, it sounded
more congested so we took him again. The doctor ruled it as bronchialitis
and put him nebulizer treatments. They didn't admit him then because
his oxygen level was doing good. 

We took him home and began those neb treatments as needed. We even 
made arrangements with the neighborhood fire department to come
and check his oxygen levels for us at least once a day. We needed
to be sure he was getting enough oxygen and to confirm that the neb
treatments were working. By Sunday afternoon, our Joseph did not look
right. He was pale and sleepy. But he was still eating at that time. We
decided to take him in to urgent care for further examination.

Upon arrival, they were very concerned because his oxygen levels were
low. So, they started him on oxygen right away. Then, they were
concerned he might have RSV and so decided to admit him into the
hospital to be treated for that. We waited 6 hours for a room since
the hospitals were all full with other sick babies. Finally, they made room
for Joseph. We were even able to stay with him in the room. They
kept him on oxygen and neb treatments plus they tested him for RSV. 

Early Tuesday morning, after he had nursed, his heart rate began 
to rise. This was not good. Then, they came in and wanted to 
do another x-ray of his chest and check him out more thoroughly.
Turns out he tested negative for RSV and positive for pneumonia. Also,
his white blood cell count was at 64,000. 10,000 is normal range. 
Joseph was a very sick little boy. They were very concerned over his
oxygen level and needed to intubate him right away. I held him once more 
while we waited for them to get everything ready then they whisked
him away to a room in PICU. How much I wanted to go with him but
they wouldn't let me. The doctors wanted to get him settled first.

The next 45 minutes were so long. Daddy was not there when this was 
all happening because he still had to do his paper route job. I was
keeping daddy up to date on everything, calling every time something
happened. He was hurrying to finish his route so he could get to the
hospital and be with me and Joseph. By the time he showed up, I had 
packed up our stuff from the room we were in and was waiting in the 
PICU waiting room. I had not yet seen Joseph since they took him. 

Right as Daddy arrived, the nurse came to get us to go and see Joseph.
I was not prepared for what I saw. My son was sedated, with a tube down
his throat to help him breathe, and a few different IVs coming out of his 
little body. He was diagnosed with pneumonia, a very high white blood cell
count, and things did not look good for him. The doctor reminded us often
that he was a very sick little boy. But still no one knew what was making
him so ill. They continued to treat him with several different antibiotics,
ran test after test, and still had no clue what was making him so sick.

Our doctor plus the other doctors treating him continued to research
for answers and nothing came up to help our Joseph. By Friday, his
chances of survival did not look any better but worse. They were in
the middle of trying to revive him for the second time when God told me in
my heart to let him go. So, I turned to my husband and said "We need
to let him go.This is enough." Those were the hardest words I've ever
had to say. So, we agreed that no more intensive treatment was to be
administered to our son. That we would just let his body do its thing
and when it reached the point that he was near leaving us that we would
like him disconnected from the machines and placed in my arms.

So, at about 9:20 p.m., Joseph was wrapped in his baby blanket then in
a quilt and placed in my arms. Oh, to hold him again was what I had
missed the most that week. From the moment he was intubated I could
only touch him but not hold him. And now...he was in my arms for one
last time. Daddy, the brothers, and his sister were all there as we
sang to him "Tell Me Why" then talked to him and loved on him. It was
that evening that our doctor suspected he might have came down with
Pertussis, whooping cough. But even with a possible diagnosis, they
couldn't save his life. Joseph went home to be with the Lord that night
while surrounded by his family and in my arms. 

When I think back on that night, I remember how strong my children 
were, including Joseph. Joseph amazed the hospital staff in the PICU at
how hard he fought to live. Then, our other children had hearts full of wisdom
that reminded me of God's sovereignty. Our oldest child said it best.
While I was standing beside Joseph, telling him it was okay to stop
fighting, reminding him that I loved him so very much, my oldest child
leaned in and said to me "Mom, this is a win-win situation." I looked
at him and said "What do you mean?" He said "If Joseph gets better, he
gets to come home. If he doesn't, he gets to go Home." 
 

"Weeping may remain for a night,
but rejoicing comes in the morning."
~ Psalm 30:5b ~
 

Back to Joseph's Room
 
 

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