How
to Help Those Who Are Coping
With
Infant Loss & Grief
I've
learned through Joseph's passing how difficult it
is
for others to comfort a grieving loved one. Whether it's finding
the
right words to say or performing the right action, friends
and
family can be at a loss of what to do to help you.
So,
I created this page to help you know some things you
can
do to help those who are grieving the loss of a baby.
Continue
to read and see how you can help.
"Blessed
are those who mourn, for they will be comforted."
~Matthew
5:4~
"....The
God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles,
so
that we can comfort those in any trouble with the
comfort
we ourselves have received from God."
~2
Corinthians 1:3,4~
1. Clothe them in hugs.
Something that offers much comfort is arms to hold
you during this time. There's something to be said for a hug during grief.
The warmth of another and the sincere feeling that they care for you
certainly helps much.
2. "Call me if there's anything I can do."
This is a great offer but a useless
one to the grieving parent. Chances are they will not pick up the phone
and
call you. It is hard enough getting up in the morning much less having
to
call someone for something you need. So, try to refrain from saying this.
Most grieving parents won't take you up on it.
3. Share memories of the baby. Please
talk about the baby. Let the parents
and siblings share their stories of the baby. This is so important to their
healing. Join in with your own stories about the pregnancy, the delivery,
or
your time with the baby. Even though the infant is in Heaven now, he/she
is still very much a part of the family and always will be.
4. Pray for them.
Oh, how much this is so needed! Pray for them diligently.
How much they need to be clothed in prayer during this time. And how
much comfort it will bring to them to know that they are being prayed
for...daily.
5. Visit them or call them weekly.
If you live close enough, stop by and visit.
Your company will be welcomed even if they are having a rough day. Knowing
you cared enough to check on them helps so much especially a month or so
after the baby is gone. If you cannot visit, then call. If they do not
choose
to answer, then leave a message. They will check it when they're ready.
And
don't worry about leaving too many messages, you can't!
6. Send cards of comfort and support.
It
is a comforting thought to know
someone took the time to send you words of comfort. Every card recieved
reminds them they are not alone. And know that even three months passed
is never too late to let them know you care.
7. Keep them eating.
One of the things that grief seems to make people do is
not eat right or at all. Bring food and encourage them to eat with you.
Be
sure to always join them so that they don't feel on display. Help keep
their
kitchen full of meals that are easy to warm up and eat.
8. Lastly, remember the birthday &
anniversary. Mark your calendar and
remember the baby's birthday and the baby's death anniversary. On those
days, drop them a line or two via the mail. Send a card to let them know
you remember their joy and loss. If you have a special memory that would
bring them comfort, share it. Knowing you remember these days will
definitely aid in their healing.
These
are just a few ideas for you to use. I'm sure there
are
other ways you can help the parents through this time. I know
for
us, one of the things that truly meant much to us was that
we
were never alone. Daily, family and friends appeared at
our
door ready to keep us company. We were always clothed
by
the love of these special people and now know that without
them
constantly hovering, we might have not been able to get
up
each morning. This I am so thankful for.
Back
to Joseph's
Room.
Background Graphics from:
 SADIE 2000-2005
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